


gray conditional

by vhscassette



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Darkfic, M/M, MGS2 perspective swap, Otasune, Pre-Relationship, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2020-10-29 16:58:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20799917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vhscassette/pseuds/vhscassette
Summary: snake infiltrates arsenal gear.





	1. untitled1

Raiden was dragged silently through the hallway by Olga, her robotic suit glinting in the cold, uncaring light. Snake-- still donned in his Pliskin disguise-- trailed behind silently, his trained footsteps as gliding as wind on a smooth surface.

He was about to transfer to Arsenal Gear when he hesitated.

Olga, holding a blacked-out Raiden, looked back at him once she ended up on Arsenal Gear's side. Snake looked at her firmly before holding his index and middle finger upwards, indicating her to move while he remained. Olga, eyes blank, nodded before continuing onwards.

141.12.

The codec rang twice. Snake knew more than anyone--  _ anyone--  _ that Otacon picked up on first ring. Always.

He was afraid.

"Otacon?" Snake asked quietly, noticing a very firmly startled expression on his partner's face.

"Raiden.. Why did you--"

"I had to do it so we could get onto Arsenal Gear. We have to infiltrate it."

Otacon's eyes went wide. "Wait-- Snake, GW's still active! I.. You won't have any backup!"

Snake nodded quietly. "I know."

Otacon leaned into the screen, immediately shuffling for something. "Give me five minutes, ten  _ tops,  _ I'm coming with you--"

"Otacon,  _ stop.  _ You  _ aren't  _ joining me."

"Snake," Otacon said as he turned back to the codec, his voice tilting with frustration, "GW will screw with your tech! It'll affect codec communications and may give you incorrect instructions,  _ maybe  _ even break altogether! I just-- I can't let you do that on your own!"

Snake firmly glared at him. "And let you corrupt all your equipment? No, Otacon. You're staying at the safe house. I know what I'm doing."

Otacon's eyes flashed with indignance before filling with loss. He didn't say anything for a moment. "No."

Snake's heart softened. "It's because we  _ both  _ know this isn't safe. I'll be alright, but I don't need you getting hurt along with me."

"We're partners, Dave," Otacon muttered, Snake noticing his soft, gray eyes filling with the beginnings of tears. He could see the wrinkles slowly forming against his forehead and eyes, long set with fear, loss and disappointment.

Sinking feelings kept settling in Snake's chest.

An echo. "We may not meet again, Hal."

"Don't say that. Don't say that again."

"Hal.."

It was silent, tense on the codec as their gaze refused to break.

Otacon inhaled, exhaled. "If you go into Arsenal Gear, GW will begin to manipulate you. Em-"

A deadly, deadly thing for him to have mentioned. 

"Emma, her--"

Snake was deathly silent.

Otacon harshly bit his lip, throat physically making him unable to continue, to the point of blood forming.

"Stop that," Snake whispered near-silently.

Tears spilled down Hal's face. He choked a sob. "Emma's-- her virus-- it may hurt--.. It may.. c-could.. could affect your..

God, Snake.."

Snake wished to every nonexistent god around that he could just hold Hal again-- hold him like he did on the Shell. He wanted so badly to never break up their bond, their team. 

Snake gathered his withering voice-- he was astounded at how heavy his chest felt-- "Now, Hal, listen--"

"Snake, I'm so afraid."

_ "Hal--" _

"Emma's gone. Emma's all gone. I'm leaving you to die. My dad's dead. My mom's dead. Emma's dead. They're all gone, David."

Snake's hands gripped further inwards, desperate to feel  _ something  _ other than this imperishable numbness clutching his soul,  _ god,  _ he just wanted to  _ hold  _ him-- "I'll call you once I'm out!'

It was silent.

Hal wouldn't look at him or at anything. He firmly kept looking down, clutching his head, sobbing harshly and silently. 

"An  _ if statement,  _ Dave."

"What?"

"An  _ if statement.  _ You'll call me if you live. If you live through the world ending, and just happen to be on the other fucking side where I am, where I  _ always  _ am,  _ away from you,  _ then you'll call me.

And if you so happen to get fucking shot to pieces or drown like in the god damned Hudson, all in the middle of a fucking information blackout, then the statement will be false. If you burn up in flames from an explosion, if you get your throat slit, if you find yourself even remotely close to losing your mind like I was in Shadow Moses and set yourself in a suicidal situation, then the statement will be false. I will never hear your voice again. I will never be by you again. I will never even know if you died."

David Sears would most likely not survive whatever was coming next.

He  _ definitely  _ wouldn't survive it if Hal wasn't there on the other side.

"Haven't you ever heard of conditional statements, Hal?"

The pale-faced Hal raised his head, eyes wet and deeply red, snot dripping from his nose. ".. That's what I've been  _ talking  _ about, David."

"No," Snake continued, "I mean  _ logic.  _ Conditional reasoning as opposed to your coding."

Hal sniffled harshly, adjusting his way-off-track glasses. ".. Truth tables?"

Snake nodded approvingly. "Yes.  _ p→q.  _ If I get to you safely, then we are Philanthropy. That kind of thing."

Hal sniffled again, blinking in confusion amidst his tears. ".. Yeah?" he groggily said, voice throaty with tears and mucus.

"Now, I want you to answer this.

.. Do you have a pen and paper ready?"

Hal blinked, his tears thoroughly gone and his hot, blood-throbbed eyes and cheeks remaining. He shifted around for a pencil, a receipt from a dollar store they went to about a week before the mission, and looked at Snake with soft expectancy.

Snake felt the numbers shift in his head. "If p then q, if and only if p and not q then c."

Hal scribbled at his receipt, Snake watching the calm that Hal had when doing his math problems. The tension was out of his shoulders, the glasses glinting softly in the light of their safehouse room, and suddenly Hal clicked his pencil against the table.

"Uh, Snake.." Hal started softly, "This is the formula for  _ reductio ad absurdum." _

"I know," Snake said, relaxed.

".. Well..? How is it related?" Hal asked curiously, his red, puffy eyes stained with teartracks.

"Honestly, I have no idea. Just wanted to seem smart like you."

Hal broke into a stupidly wide, nearly annoyed and full-teethed grin before seething, slamming his head down into the table. "Snake."

Snake was smiling wide, smiling hard. "Yes?"

"What the fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Hey, you tell me,  _ partner." _

Hal was laughing, smiling tearfully when he raised his head. "Call me when you get back. Call me, David. And--"

"But  _ I'm  _ David, Hal."

"And don't forget that GW will--"

"Hal, did you forget your name?  _ I'm--" _

"I'm going to hit you. GW will--"

"But how can you do that when you think you're  _ me,  _ Otacon?"

"GW will mess your fucking communications up! Don't trust any form of me after this until you get outta there! Fucking.. lord!" Hal laughed intensely, his cheeks now reddening not from tears but from happiness.

"But  _ Otacon,--"  _ Snake grinned, the tease never leaving his tone. God, he was fun to mess with.

"Snake, goodbye! Stay fucking safe, you nimrod!"

"Will do. And hey, put a beer in the fridge for me, will you? This whole mission's got me fucked up and I'm all outta cigarettes."

"If and  _ only _ if you call me a handsome man who can do good math problems."

"I'd call you handsome even if you  _ didn't  _ ask me to do that."

"Fuck off. Good luck, Snake," Otacon deadpanned, his gaze slowly becoming warmed.

Snake smiled, chuckling. "Goodbye and farewell, my sweetest tech support. Don't forget to wave your handkerchief against the docks."

"I'll have one on me."

Their amusement slowly dwindled. Neither wanted to end the call, and both of them knew just how serious and final this situation could truly be.

The world began to cave back in again.

Snake saw those eyes-- those gentle, emotional, most  _ human  _ eyes, that gray-- and focused on them as hard as he could, remembered them as hard as he could.

Hal's eyes dimmed softly. "Goodbye, Dave."

Snake wished he could hold him again. "Goodbye, Hal."

The codec clicked off.

Snake felt his hand stay against his ear, waiting one, two, three seconds before letting it flop down ungracefully beside him.

He had no idea what the hell he was going up against.

He wanted to hold Hal.


	2. untitled2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for violence/grotesque imagery. dont wanna spoil but [solid snake voice]: and everybody knows shits fucked

"Snake," Otacon chippered onto the codec, "what are you d**oing? Y**ou're going the wrong way, you know."

Snake ended the codec.

Ring.

He ignored it. He continued loosely down the hallway, calculating by the sound of hollow footsteps exactly how far other guards were.

Otacon kept god damned ringing him.

"What," Snake grunted emotionlessly.

"Why, that's n**ot very nice t**o say to your partner! Yo**u're quite th**e jerk for a man who doesn **'t even ** ** _exist _ ** **on his o**wn!" Otacon said, casual as if he was commenting on the cup of coffee he drank in the morning. His voice was oddly boosted in volume. Snake hung up the codec.

* * *

Snake slipped through the crevices and cold teal of Arsenal Gear, silencing his codec repeatedly when he kept receiving calls. Of course, the silence never really lasted long, but he found the sentiment only the slightest of reassuring anyway. 

His M9 glinted gray in the sharp, yet almost dim light of Arsenal. He dipped in and out of the shadows and felt like a remnant of his father.

* * *

"Y'know, Sna**ke," ** Otacon said quietly, "I knew all a**bout yo**ur ** fling with G**ray Fox. I just di**dn't wan**na say anything until now."

Snake hung up the codec.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"I just wish you had, y'know, **told me about it, first."**

Snake remembered Fox's corpse smashed underneath Rex's foot, a cold ache reverberating like a small memory.

His old, dear friend.

He hung up.

* * *

The codec rang for literally twenty two minutes, and Snake fucking _ counted _it. He growled in complete frustration, picking up the codec.

"I wanted for you to look at me. I wanted you to lo**ok at me for so long."**

David hung up the codec, feeling a ridiculous shiver run down his spine. He hated this. He hated all of this. At this rate, he wouldn't be half surprised if he ended up just shoving a whole pack of cigarettes down his throat- fuck a chainsmoke.

* * *

He had found Raiden's clothes and weapons, somehow all conveniently hidden in a locker of some suspicious storage room. 

"Back in the inventory they go," Snake muttered near-silently, turning around and inspecting visually for any signs of guards. His Soliton Radar may have been reduced to shit, but he was no rookie. 

No one beats Solid Snake without a good fucking fight.

He took two steps out and

the world flashed horrifically in his vision

"Snake? _ Sn_**_ake?_ ****What's w**rong?! S**n** \--" _ so loud, so loud, from where- _

The world blacked out, all except minisculely from the severe corner of his vision, and all in third person. He felt himself stand, felt himself move, yet it was all being watched from something like a camera way up high.

The GW had gotten to his nanos.

He saw a fucking guard, a guard nearly reach for his stupid fucking radio when Snake somehow managed to shoot it to pieces and pierce a heart-lead bullet. His mind was spinning out of control when the guard fell.

His head swelled, swung, felt like he was spinning unconsciously when 'control' was given back to him. He slammed harshly against a nearby wall, thankful that a corpse of a guard nearby was growing cold. He felt the cold of the metal wall under his fingertips, closed his eyes, felt the blood slowly flowing back into his face.

Inhale, exhale.

Inhale, exhale.

His nanomachines had succumbed. 

Whether it was a matter of time or not, Snake just wanted to go home.

* * *

"You know everythi**ng, don’t you?"**

Hangup.

Ring.

Ring.

"You just kn**ow ** ** _everything.”_ **

  
  


* * *

"Dave. David, I'm goi**ng back to Emma."**

* * *

"Dave.

Snake. Please, ple**ase. **

Even if you die, I'll forgive you.

I'l**l always forgive you."**

* * *

"Nothing really matters, y'know."

Hang up.

"I mean, you know it too, right?

Little t**oy soldier."**

Snake, almost at a near mental limit, found the statement odd. It sounded like Otacon was inspecting one of his weird little mecha toys, just like he used to before they were serious about Philanthropy. Him, sitting with his glasses, that firm, serious look, tinkering with a small screwdriver and his little figurines.

Little toy soldier.

* * *

His body slunk around, trying to find where tall-blond-and-huffy was at. He still needed to apologize for earlier, after all, and—

..

the kid.

The kid’s codec could’ve been fucking up, too.

Snake sighed heavily. He switched receptors from WIRELESS to LOCAL codec signals. He still had a shit feeling that it wouldn’t matter, and that GW’s virus would still be weird.

He codec’d the kid’s number, and a woman showed up.

Snake was pretty confused. “Uh.. where’s Raiden?” he said dully, half unsure of whether or not he was talking to an actual person.

“Oh, him? Yeah, no. He said something about a chick name**d Emma. He went t**o take swimming le**ssons wi**th her,” she responded, Snake blinking before hanging up the codec.

Fucking lunatics.

* * *

There was silence. Silence, an eerie static.

Snake felt an odd, cloying feeling of fear at the absence of Otacon's voice.

He clicked the video chat and found Otacon's neck slit open on the fucking camera, the blood and torn flesh visible darkly with a pair of scissors held in his left hand. His eyes were dead, open, face with that empty stare of hollow that he had seen repeatedly in empty, bloody fields.

He immediately recoiled, ending the call and punching the wall to stop himself from screaming, thud reverberating. Not real. Not real. Not real. Otacon was home. Otacon was safe. Otacon was safe. 

"Otacon," he nearly moaned incoherently, his mental threads wearing down as he tried to recover from the sudden shock. 

* * *

“Do you think love could bloom—

Even on the bottom of the Hudson?

Even in bed with your stepmother?

Even f**eeli**ng bugs crawling inside you?

Ev

Even wi**th**

**s c i s s o r s ?”**

* * *

“Raiden!” Snake called out upon seeing the poor damn kid. He would’ve snickered if his empathy didn’t take charge for once; running around butt-ass naked in a facility wasn’t typically one of Snake’s experiences, but he was certain that he’d be _ at least _a little uncomfortable by having to do it.

Raiden turned around, hands covering his crotch, and flushed at the predicament he was in. “Snake..”

“Sorry to keep you—“

“Just give me my clothes back, okay?”

* * *

“So,” Snake started gruffly, awkward. He wasn’t a conversationalist— not by nature, at least, and his heart ached for the distraction of seeing anyone other than his dead or dying partner. “Are you—.. Is your codec functioning properly?”

“No!” Raiden said loudly, adjusting his suit straps and seemingly thankful it wasn’t just him. “I kept getting these—“

“Really weird messages?”

“Yeah! Jesus Christ, they were weird.. What, has Otacon been able to get through to you?”

Snake held back a grimace, now reminded of helplessness and heart-aching statements. “No. I’ve gotten calls ‘from him,’ but.. they weren’t really _ him.” _

Raiden frowned. “Great. We really _ are _alone on this one, huh..”

Snake snorted. “Not my first time, kid. Stick with me, ‘n I’ll getcha outta here,” he reassured firmly, taking pity on the kid. Didn’t look older than early twenties, yet he had those.. _rookie _eyes.

—the eyes of one who hadn’t reached the end of his rope, but would be on the eve of it without help.

He knew because he _ was _that kid, even if it was much younger. No one should have to do what he did— become a breathing, inhuman weapon. Hell, he was lucky he had Otacon to make him realize he indeed did have emotions left to feel. This kid, though..? With the Colonel..?

He was so tired, but he would help him. There was nothing else he could do.

* * *

RAY screamed mechanically, the roof of their world so horrifically cold.

**"Sna**ke," Otacon asked. Snake stared at the horrifically gray, enormously empty sky as tears clung to his eyelashes. He attempted to rip through his handcuffs, feeling the hard, sharp metal bearing lines into his skin.

"Snake, I do**n't understand you."**

The chains were just beginning to snap under the weight, Snake could _ feel _it.

A hard gust of wind had startled Snake, and the chains broke in one fast, unadulterated movement. 

Liquid Ocelot taunted him from inside of RAY.

He sprinted, heart roaring with the fury of a man who longed to hold together a world he was born to destroy.

He jumped from the roof, lunging.

* * *

"Do you think love can bloom,"

* * *

His world was going to turn black. He reached for the metal of RAY.

He failed.

* * *

"...

..even on a battlefield?"

* * *

"Otacon," Snake choked gaspingly as he hit the pavement of sea.


End file.
